I’ve always had the issue with getting nervous about the long run hanging over my head.
I try really hard to overcome it. But, when I have a 15 + mile run on tap, I let it sit in the back of my mind constantly… until it’s complete.
This weekend for instance, I plan to run 20 miles. Glenn is running long at 7am on Saturday, so the plan is to go right when he gets home. That will put me at a 9:30ish start time. In my brain though, I’m thinking- maybe I could get someone to watch Marshall Friday morning and just get it over with. OR maybe I’ll do is Sunday. If I don’t go right at 7:30 or 8:00 when I like, maybe it’s not a good idea to do it that day. Read: Excuse. Want to either 1. Get it over with on Friday or 2. Push it off till Sunday.
We are going out to dinner for our anniversary tomorrow night and I’m already thinking about how I’ll be thinking about the damn 20 miles that await me on Saturday morning and won’t fully enjoy the night out. Glenn thinks I”m a head case, because when he has a hard or long workout, he doesn’t think about it much, he just does his thing and when it’s time- he goes. Tell me I’m not alone though?!
What I need to remember is, last week when I ran 17- I enjoyed a lot of the run and yesterday when I did some intense speedwork, although it hurt A LOT at times, I really enjoyed a lot of it. Seriously I was smiling at the effort I was putting out. I was loving running. It’s not always like that, but I need to remember that.
The mind problems happen in the morning…. when I wake up and my body feels tired and I wonder how I can possibly run as far or as fast as my intentions are for the day, it’s as though I don’t think I enjoy running as much as I do. But then I get started and I get the first few miles in and remember how much I like and kick myself for “dreading” or letting a long run “hang over my head”.
When the dread affect starts happening, I need to think about this beautiful alone time I have to just be me and not worry about what anyone else is doing for just 2.5 hours. Just BE in the moment. Sure my legs get tired, but that’s not so tragic is it? What am I really worried about? Worried that I won’t hit the paces I want to hit? And would that really be the end of the world?
All I really need to remember is how amazingly strong and powerful I feel when the long run is done. How it makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. Every long run isn’t some amazing, incredible experience where I feel like I can conquer the world, but nine times out of ten, I finish feeling a lot more like I can than if I didn’t run long.
So my mission right now is to ENJOY what’s happening right now and not dread something I know will actually make me happy. What’s up with this love/hate thing and why are we so addicted to it?