Telling the Doubt to GO AWAY.

I came home from work majorly grouchy on Tuesday. I know this is dumb, but it’s race nerves. It’s dumb because I’m not trying to win this marathon, my income doesn’t depend on my PR, it’s JUST A RUN. Why am I being such a head case.

I started thinking about the list I made for what I want to think about when I race on Sunday and am trying to put things into perspective. What is the point of letting this race get in my head and make me freak out?

This morning I read Kris Law’s post on her workouts for the week and she talked about how she was EXCITED to race on Sunday. (She is running the Shamrock Half and she ain’t slow!) She didn’t say she was nervous, freaked out or grouchy, but excited. And why shouldn’t she be? Why shouldn’t I be? You work hard, you train hard and then you get out there and let the hard work pay off. Ā Will it hurt? Yes. But the workouts hurt too and I survived those just fine.

The reason I’m typing all of this out is because I’m trying really hard to speak it so I’ll believe it.Ā 

Every morning when I wake up, the thought of the hard workouts and races seem impossible to me, I think about how hard my body has to work and when I’m under the covers in the dark room, I wonder to myself why the heck do I do it.

Then… once I’m out of bed and have been awake for more than 30 minutes, I remember the finish. I force myself to think about how it feels to finish- whether it’s finishing an easy run, hard workout, great race, any kind of finish.. and I think about how my days, my attitude, who I am as a mother and wife is so much better because I put my time in and finish.

Completing a project feels good and this marathon has been my project for the past few months. I didn’t work hard to put in mediocre effort on race day. While I feel doubtful about it at times, the pace and the distance just seems daunting. I am going to say out loud that I can do it and that I believe. And when it hurts on Sunday, I’m going to speak it out loud and I’m going to PUSH.Ā 

Comments

  1. woohoo! I am sure this post feels empowering, as it should!! You’ve got this!! (And I will try to remember this next month. šŸ˜‰ )

  2. I can relate to your sentiment completely! But I like what you said “I didn’t work hard to put in mediocre effort on race day.” There might be butterflies and self doubt – but they’ll go away as soon a you line up on Sunday. You’ll be great!

  3. Thank you so much for thinking of me! The miles and miles of training are HARD. So many days I have to kick myself out the door but race day is your reward! Think of all the spectators cheering for you, the volunteers handing you drinks, the surprise finishers item, and my favorite part…post race food binge šŸ˜‰ It is all a reward for your training and my opinion is suck it in while we can šŸ™‚ Have a GREAT race Sunday! I really want to see you so after I finish I will try to run over quick to the marathon start area. You are going to do awesome!

    1. Thanks Kris! Your post really did speak to me, as I was reading and you simply said you are excited for the race, I thought SEE WHY can’t I be excited and not scared and nervous like crazy? It’s going to hurt for you too and you are excited to see what you can do. I am trying so hard to feel like that. šŸ™‚ I’ll look for you! Good luck!

  4. Shanna

    I’ve only started reading your blog and you are so inspirational. I KNOW you’re going to do well. You have prepared and pushed and you GOT this!!

    1. Hi Shanna, thank you so much for the kind words, it really means so much to me. I will take your words of encouragement with me tomorrow during the race. THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

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