I’ve had my fair share of laughs from the hater crossfit articles and was hoping I’d get some good laughs from the runner hater article. Sadly, I did not.
If you’re going to write an article making fun of runners- at least make it good. There are so many more ways you can make fun and this guy doesn’t know enough to actually make it funny. Please note, as a runner, some of these things I do, some I don’t.
- He didn’t even mention the PR talk. Runners LOVE LOVE LOVE to tell people their PR. It’s all about the PR and there’s nothing like seeing someone drop what their PR is, like they are just casual dropping it. It’s not casual, you’re proud of that time.
- Boston Jackets. The Boston Marathon is the prize that thousands of runners aspire to run and once they do it, they want the jacket. They’ll wear that bad boy to an expo even when it’s 90 degrees out, just to make sure everyone knows they’ve run Boston. And in case you didn’t notice the jacket they let you know they ran it.
- Expo Trolls. (Got that term from Adam. I like it) Glenn & I worked a marathon expo recently & I swear we saw some people trolling around for HOURS and a handful came for BOTH days.
- The stickers. We all hate the stickers. My mom and my sister both put 26.2 stickers on their cars after they ran their first marathon. I kindly told them they needed to run at least 2 before claiming they run marathons so loudly on their cars. They both went on to run plenty more, but I still hate the stickers.
- Training plans. Do or die.
- The Humble Brag.
- Runner on runner unsolicited advice.
- Running bloggers & even worse their race reports. Example: Here you go. No fear, in proper runner form- I drop my PR VERY LOUD and clear at the beginning of this post.
- All the poop talk. Gross.
- “Even a bad run is better than no run” – FALSE. Sometimes it sucks way worse.
- Compression socks. SOOO hot, thank you kara Goucher & Shalane Flanagan. Here’s a secret, while they do serve a purpose, if you wear them while running, they don’t make you run faster. I’m a proud owner, I like how they feel and think they look cute with my shorts. I mostly wear them for the cute factor though, let’s be real.
- Fuel belts. Just fuel belts in general.
- When Runner’s say…. All the food. All the beer. Rungry. yadda yadda, you get it.
- Calling the treadmill the dreadmill. It’s not THAT bad and it DOES work. Settle down you outdoor running snob.
- FORGET the selflies. If he really wanted to make fun he would have pointed out all the GPS watch & shoe pics. Better show us that proof that you ran what you say you ran. And I’m glad I can see your shoes, had I not seen them, I might have been out for a run in sandals.
- Obsessively checking the weather. Everyone has to run in the same conditions and you can’t do anything about it so settle down. No seriously, settle down about the weather.
Oh man, I could go on, but I’m tired and want to go to bed.
It’s about time a “hater” post about runners came out- but I just wish it would have actually been funny. Try harder next time you think your post might go viral.
A sorely disappointed runner who was really hoping to actually get made fun of. Oh, by the way, here’s a really good running selfie.