Running Scared

For years I’ve done this.

It dates back to high school. I got roped into running cross country my sophomore year. The day we had our first meet was a trial meet against our own teammates. That morning, I was so nervous, I cried. Not kidding.

Over the next three years, I started getting nervous for Saturday meets on Tuesday. By the time Friday rolled around, I was a wreck. I didn’t have a good race to finish off my last year at the State meet. Looking back, I think I was so nervous about working hard and lacked confidence that I didn’t even try my hardest.

So I ran throughout college to stay in shape, but didn’t sign up for a race again until my junior year  when I signed up for the mini marathon and didn’t even really train for it. I ran 6 miles as my longest training run. I made a goal half way through the race and got a little competitive.

Then I ran that race again year after year and decided I wanted to run a marathon, and then I decided I wanted to start running faster. Because it felt good.

I’ve ran 11 marathons now. Of those 11, I’ve raced 5 and of those 5, I was a nervous wreck for 4 of them. The only one I wasn’t nervous about was my most recent, Rehoboth Beach. I wasn’t nervous because I wasn’t trying to PR. I was trying to run controlled and smart.

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to run 14 miles, with 7 at race pace. Holy shit, is race pace really 7:26 per mile? I know I can do it, but really, for 26.2 miles, to me 7:26 seems fast.

Then I looked at Glenn’s race pace, 6:17. What does that even mean? Is this the same line cook that I met at the Village Deli 8 years ago, who was 30 pounds overweight and liked to get his college on? By “get his college on”, I mean party, eat massive amounts of taco bell and not run. Is this the same Glenn that ran a 3:49 for his first 26.2?

Here’s why he has improved so much. He has confidence like none other. And he most certainly does not RUN SCARED. 

I never really make “New Years Resolutions”, or as a lot of healthy living bloggers say “goals” for the new year- really people, it’s the same thing said in a different way. My life goal, not my 2013 goal is to run confidently. I want to get a little cocky. See that’s how he does it. He works hard and then he believes he can do it. So, why can’t I.

No more running scared. I vow to run with confidence and strength, while believing in myself. 

Now, even as I type this and try to be cocky about it, I’m still nervous about that 7:26. Someone quick, come get myself out of my own head and tell me to just run STRONG.

How do you overcome the doubt? How do you to run with confidence?