Along with “move viewed”, I also slipped in “my favorite” post of the month too…. which sometimes is closer to the least viewed….. haha.

Our “most viewed” of the year was my BRCA Gene post by a lot, with “Why Runners are Really Annoying” in a not so close second.

January:

Most Viewed: Why I’m Staying Home, The Mile Repeat

My Favorite: Running Scared

Race Reports: Rehoboth Beach Marathon

Favorite Life Thing: Being content with my decision to quit my job.

The early days of my starting to be home full time.

February:

Most Viewed: The last 20, Tired & Hungover, When a long run was just a long run

My Favorite: A Frozen Progression Run

Race Report: None

Favorite Life Thing: New Nephew born, Evan Emre Ozbilge 

Glenn’s sister Megan with Niece Sofia & a brand new Evan.

March:

Most Viewed: Shamrock Marathon Recap

My Favorite: Shamrock Marathon Recap, The Big PR from the Coaches Prespective

Race Report: Shamrock Marathon Recap

Favorite Life Thing: No really, I was happy about that race. 

Finished with my fastest 26.2 to date.

April:

Most Viewed: I added miles & I got tough

My Favorite: I added miles & I got tough

Race Report: Rock the Relay, Carmel Half Marathon

Favorite Life Thing: I met a new friend, who is one of my best now- Ashley, My last big event for Back on My Feet & transitioning to being a Stay at Home mom full time (although I quit in late December- I still worked for them through end of April.

Rock the Relay

Back on My Feet Birthday Luncheon- my last big hooray.

This is after the Indy Women’s half- but wanted to share a picture with Ashley. I wasn’t creepy enough to ask her for a pic after Carmel, when we’d just met 30 minutes earlier.

May:

Most Viewed: Triathlon Training- Muncie 70.3

My Favorite: Learning to be a swimmer, or many a runner who can swim

Race Report: 500 Festival Mini Marathon

Most Exciting Life Thing: My sister got married, We launched our Coaching Business, Marshall started walking, Glenn returns to running after two months off, My first Mother’s Day

After the 500 Festival Mini Marathon- used this race as a training run for a race I didn’t end up doing… can’t plan everything!

Ericka & Rick at their destination wedding. Just the two of them, wish we could have been there!

June: 

Most Viewed: Triathlon #1 Recap

My Favorite: My road to the Chicago Marathon

Race Report: Triathlon #1 Recap

Most Exciting Life Thing: Marshall’s first birthday, Glenn’s first Father’s Day, Starting to run with the RUSTED BEARS- new friends!

First open water swim survived!

Marshall turns one

New friends: Rusted Bears! Right before Amy’s Half!

July:

Most Viewed: Ironman Muncie, Do you have a running BFF?

My Favorite: Ironman Muncie

Race Report: Fire Cracker Six, Ironman Muncie

Most Exciting Life Thing: Ironman Muncie, Having the balls to finally get my blood work done for my gene test

Before the swim: Scared, Nervous, Excited, Focused.

Entering the pain train of 13.1 miles after swimming 1.2 & biking 56. Never felt anything like it. Different kind of hurt than end of marathon pain.

My loves who cheered me on!

August: 

Most Viewed: BRCA 2 Gene & my decision

My Favorite: BRCA 2 Gene & my decision

Race Report: Eagle Creek Trail Half Marathon, Glenn CRRG 5K #1, Lindsey’s CRRG 5K, Glenn’s CRRG 5K #2, Indianapolis Women’s Half Marathon

Most Exciting Life Thing: No post really, but we both turned 30 & celebrated 5 years of marriage, joining Oiselle Team!

Glenn’s 30th Birthday

When Glenn took second at the Eagle Creek Trail Half Marathon. The kid that won had never ran a race before & wore big beats by dre head phones. Really.

5th Wedding Anniversary

Running in my Oiselle Gear w/ Cadence and niece Giovanna.

September:

Most Viewed: Not your typical Tuesday

My Favorite: Not your typical Tuesday

Race Report: Ripple Effect, Chicago half marathon

Most Exciting Life Thing: Friends throwing me a “bye bye boobies” part, Vacation to Sonoma, Marshall’s first hair cut- I don’t know if this really makes the list, but the picture is really cute.

Glenn & Marsh after the Ripple Effect.

My amazing friends threw me a going away party right before my mastectomy.

Beautiful little vacation in Sonoma with Glenn’s whole family for a wedding.

Britney making his handsome. That’s right, not shirt at the salon.

October:

Most Viewed: Surgical Bras are sexy right?

My Favorite: My take on Glenn’s Chicago Marathon, And then I cried some more

Race Report: Chicago Marathon- What now?

Most Exciting Life Thing: Getting my surgery OVER with, Going trick or treating with the cutest banana I’ve ever seen.

Mom watching Marshall during my surgery, Sister Visiting me in hospital. The race that WASN’T meant to be.

Halloween

November:

Most Viewed: What’s REALLY annoying about Runners

My Favorite: Monumental Marathon Weekend

Race Report: Monumental Marathon, Drumstick Dash

Most Exciting Life Thing: New nephew – Gunner Ceferino Gil, Glenn’s new Marathon PR

Niece Giovanna & new nephew Gunner

Glenn redeeming himself after a bad race at Chicago, just three weeks later.

Pre Drumstick Dash!

Stroller running it at the Drumstick Dash

December:

Most Viewed: Dominating the Stroller Run

My Favorite: Strong

Race Reports: None

Most Exciting Life Thing: New niece- Josephina Lynn Stazonne

All the kids on Glenn’s side of the family. Evan, Josephina, Sofia & Marshall.

Christmas 2013

Christmas 2013

I thought about how last year at this time, I was in between marathons, coming off a really hard race that shook my confidence. No matter how hard you try, being totally prepared for a marathon so soon after having a baby is really hard. I don’t care who you are. It’s hard. Your body is physically and emotionally on a roller coaster. But we all have races like that- not just coming back post baby, there are a million reasons for having a race like that. Every race can shake your confidence or blow it up to making you feel super human.

I thought about how last year at this very time in my life, I was scared daily about something that is almost behind me. I kid you not, after having Marshall, I walked out of the hospital with my boobs filling of milk, freaking out, thinking what if I have breast cancer and I can’t tell because I get clogged milk ducts and I can’t handle this and oh my gosh breast feeding had to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. (Minus the last 10 miles of said race I mentioned above..)

I tried hard to embrace the bounding experience with my first child, but a big part of me was frantically worrying about the what ifs. Now knowing I won’t ever have that experience again, I am so thankful I had it with him. Last year at this time I wouldn’t have even typed the words cancer, because I would have been too scared to. My genetic fate was haunting me. And now it’s not. Now I know. There are things I can’t control, but the things I can control, I will.

It was when I was on the bike trainer, training for my first 70.3 this summer that I decided to make an appointment to get the blood test to see if I had the BRCA 2 gene. I mentioned this in my original post-

“I remember swimming laps thinking about it and I can guarantee that my thoughts were a lot more positive in the pool, on the bike or out running than they would have been sitting around feeling sorry for myself. “

This is why I love running, or really you can categorize this into sport or exercise in general- whatever it is that gives you what it gives me. This is why we become addicted to it. It drives us to be stronger, not only in physical aspects of life, but emotionally as well. It helps us to make tough decisions. I know, like any hobby or activity you spend excess amounts of time doing, running can be a very selfish thing. But it’s a selfish thing that makes me a better person. And it probably makes you a better person too.

There are days when I wake up and it’s the last thing I want to think about but everyday I finish up, I know I will be happier, stronger, more independent and BETTER if the I’ve given myself the gift of endorphins.

And I’ll close this with a piece of an email (an email that had me tearful) I received from one of the athletes we coach, Belle, who finished her first half marathon this weekend:

“Lindsey, in short, running has given me a new way to look at life, a new way to prioritize, a new way to live with dignity and grace.” 

Preach on Belle. Go be the best self you can be and if running or rowing or playing tennis, whatever it is helps you do that… do more of that.

I have my reconstruction surgery date tentatively set for January 15th. I’m going to pester them to see if they’ll bump it up to the week before because I’m trying to do a little Florida trip with my older sister to visit my younger sister and her kids that weekend. I swear the nurse hates me because I’m always trying to get my restrictions lifted early and move the process along too faster. I already asked once, but after doing some calculations I don’t see why they denied letting me do it the week before unless she just didn’t have time on her schedule.

I’ve gone to my plastic surgeon three times now for fills and it’s weird EVERY time. She has a little metal detector thing and finds the port in my expander and gives me what feels like a shot and literally just fills them. (I can’t really feel much… I mostly feel pressure and what I know is a prick) You sit there and watch your boobs grow and then they are sore for a couple of days.

This week I wasn’t able to find help with Marshall so he came with. He sat on my lap and played with the saline bag. He was so intrigued by what she was doing to his mom that he actually kind of sat still. First time watching his mom get boob fills. Good stuff.

In my pre surgery post, I talked about the things I was nervous/scared about, including the drainage tubes, expanders & numbness:

– The drainage tubes were definitely as bad as I imagined and while mine stayed in longer than most, it really wasn’t all that long (2 weeks). And when it was time for them to come out- one of my best friends is an RN, so I had front door service. It’s love when your friend comes over and takes your drainage tubes out.

– Expanders are 10 times less weird than I thought they would be. The concept is weird, but since I’m not sore from surgery anymore, I often forget they are even there. Until I change my clothes. Or bump into something and my boobs are hard as a rock.

– The numbness sucks. I can’t really feel much and it’s freaking weird. Every time I need the band aides to come off after getting filled I make Glenn do it because I can’t stand to touch them. Freaks. me. out. This was something I anticipaed and I STILL REALLY don’t like it. I’m sure it will all get better though and it’s really not that big of a deal. But, no sugar coating, it sucks.

– And what was much harder than I anticipated was not being able to lift Marshall. I had a weight restriction of 3-5 lbs for the first two weeks. I obeyed that pretty much perfectly, with lot’s of amazing help from our families and friends. But then my weight restriction went to 10-15 lbs for the next four weeks and I started feeling like myself again. Marshall weighs around 22 lbs, so that lasted approximately one week. There is only so much time your family and friends can take off and help you lift your kid out of his crib. I’ve often said this time period would have been MUCH easier if I went to work Mon-Fri, but my full time job is chasing this crazy kid around and the most exhausting part was not being able lift him as much as you’d like. While I did break the rules, I tried to limit it, so I found myself on the floor more than usual, which is already a lot.

What’s going down now: 

After my first fill, my boobs were already larger than they’ve ever been (other than when I was breastfeeding) and it’s just weird, like I’m in that 13 year old awkward stage that I never actually went through at 13 like most girls. I felt self conscious at the gym for the first time this week after my most recent fill. When I was stretching, I kept looking in the mirror thinking this looks normal right? People can’t tell? I don’t know.

I’m only due for one more fill. I’m not a boob person. I like my small boob self, but I can’t justify going through all of this and NOT helping myself out a bit in the department. The runner in me is worried they’ll look weird when running in just a sports bra on the hot summer days. Just a little too perky? Why do those things look so hard? And GASP, what if i have to wear two sports bras? This A cup girl is used to getting by with a size small champion sports bra from target and that’s it.

So, that’s that. I’m thankful for my health and thankful I know that I have this gene and have been able to take charge. And now you know WAY MORE about my boobs than you really need or want to know. 

Here’s my running timeline pre and post reconstruction:

• Build base November 8th-January 14th. 

• Enjoy some time off while I recover January 15th-Febuary 12th

• Build base back up and get in at least one 20 miler February 13th-April 21st.

I’ll write about what my runs will actually consist of, but right now it’s just running pretty easy consistently 5-6 days a week with a hardish mile here and there. We met the Rusted Bear crew out at Morgan Monroe on Saturday and I had my longest run yet of 8 miles. (5 on the trail, 3 on the road) It felt good.

I’m excited to run the drumstick Dash on Thanksgiving with the stroller, although I’ve ran hundreds of miles with the stroller, I’ve never ran a race with it. I’m working on my training plan and will post some details soon! 

Ta Ta!